, Research Paper
Process Essay & # 8220 ; Stating Your Children You Have Cancer & # 8221 ;
Thousands of people every twelvemonth find out they have malignant neoplastic disease. Over half will hold to travel through some type of chemotherapy or radiation intervention. Both are highly painful. Their visual aspect will alter dramatically and their physical abilities will go limited. Merely speaking can and will go a job. Although many doctors and specialist attempt to soothe and fix each patient ; it is those patients with kids who find the whole experience torturing. They fear for their kids s hereafter and how they will take the intelligence. They re unsure of when and how to state their kids, particularly those with younger kids. Childs who are of the ages of five and under. It is most hard to explicate to this age group because of their absence of understanding what it is they are being told. They have a limited vocabulary and miss the ability to hold on the earnestness of the state of affairs. They do non understand that their parent possibly confronting decease. To them their parent is unbeatable. No one or thing could harm them. So it is up to their parent to explicate everything in a manner to where they will understand. Helping kids five and under to understand their parents experience with malignant neoplastic disease demands sensitiveness and a good sense of timing. Children may travel through the phases their parents are traveling through, incredulity, choler, reorganisation, hope and credence. They may hold particular demands because of their ages. During their parents unwellness, their demands may alter. Children have the right to cognize about anything that affects the household, as malignant neoplastic disease does. Children know something is incorrect. If they are non told anything in a manner to protect them, they may hold frights which are -Page 2- worse than the existent state of affairs. They may happen out the truth from person else, or acquire deceptive information from Television or other beginnings. Not speaking about malignant neoplastic disease may propose it is a topic excessively awful to be discussed. There is a hopeful side and kids need to cognize this. The first measure a parent should take before stating their kids is to happen out all the information they can about the malignant neoplastic disease they have been diagnosed with. What makes malignant neoplastic disease particularly hard are the many terra incognitas. Populating with uncertainness is portion of holding malignant neoplastic disease. A parent needs to happen out all they can to do the unknown familiar. In order to supply accurate information and to be honest with their kids the parent needs to be knowing of their malignant neoplastic disease. This manner when their kids asks a inquiry they will be able to reply it. There are some inquiries they will non be able to reply. They must accept that and assist their kids to accept that fact besides. Once the parent knows all that they can about their malignant neoplastic disease so the following measure is to rapidly put aside a clip in a comfy topographic point to explicate their unwellness. Many parents feel comfy in believing that clip is in copiousness. It is non. Children need to be told every bit shortly as possible. They should be told after the parent has been diagnosed. Picking a clip and topographic point is really of import. Time should be selected when their kids are the minute
t focused and likely to be home. The conversation should take place in a familiar comfortable room or area. Home would be the best selection. Many children consider home to be safe and secure. It is a non-threatening environment where they can feel free to open up when talking to their parent. -Page 3- The third and most important step is how the parent explains their illness to their children. Dealing with children under the age of five is extremely difficult. It must be dealt with great patience and compassion. At this age children may have to be told over and over again. They have a short attention span and a meager vocabulary level. The parent needs to be creative and talk in a language their children will understand. Children are good at noticing things but poor at understanding what they mean. For example, Pappy died in a hospital. Now Daddy has to go into a hospital. He is going to die. Or I was with Mommy when she told me to pick up my toys. Then she was ill. Maybe I made her ill. It is this way children think. Children under five believe the world revolves around them, they believe that when something is wrong, it s their fault. There is a tremendous need to explain in great detail to them the reasons as to why their parent has cancer. To let them know it has nothing to do with them and that they did not cause the disease. They should be told in small doses as the disease progress or digresses. They shouldn t be told that Mommy or Daddy is going to die unless that is the inevitable outcome. It saves the children from unnecessary grief and stress. The youngest children fear separation, strangers and being left alone. There are some dont s such as don t lie, don t trouble them with frightening medical details, money worries, test results that are not in yet, promises you may not be able to keep, and don t be afraid to say I don t know. Also a parent does not want to push their children to talk. This may cause them to turn away and keep emotions and feelings hidden. Children are having a difficult time trying to understand the situation and trying to deal with the idea of losing their parent. The -Page 4- less stress a parent puts on their children the more the children are able to cope with the situation. When a parent finds out they have cancer everyone in that family is affected. There may be changes in the parents appearance and there may be changes in what they are able to do. With the ability to know when and how to speak with their children, especially the younger ones, about the cancer they will be able to cope with this disease together and without the stress of hiding it as a dirty secret. Children have an amazing ability and capacity to deal with the truth. Even very sad truths will relieve the anxiety of too much uncertainty. Parents cannot stop them from feeling sad, but if they share their feelings and give them information about what is happening, they can offer them support in their sadness. Cancer is a serious and unfortunate disease that parents need to share with their children when they find out they are infected with it. Dealing with it early and openly can help a family prepare for the future.